5 Changes I Made to Boost my Postpartum Mental Health

When I was pregnant, people would often remark on how lucky I was that I already knew so much about child development and what to do with a baby, and they are right, I am lucky to have the knowledge that I have; however, I was holding myself to an impossible standard. I let go of a few things that markedly improved my well-being and increased my confidence in my new role.

1. Getting off the apps - There is truly an app for everything with babies. In the beginning, we would track everything from the time spent breastfeeding on each side, diaper changes, and sleep. We would use wonder weeks to justify our crying newborn. I have a master’s degree and extensive knowledge in child development, but I was still tracking milestones on an app, not to mention the number of TikTok reels I watched to justify my choices. After a while, we became less attached to tracking everything. In the beginning, we may have needed it to create some narrative of control, but in the end it was a distraction. Getting off the apps allowed me to be more attuned to my baby and more present.
2. Taking “Me” time - Prior to having my baby, my morning routine was everything. It included working out, walking the dog, and having a sit down breakfast with my husband every day. Obviously I don’t have time for that now, but it was so important for my mental health to find a way to fit some of these things in. Once I prioritized working out and getting out for a walk (now separately), I felt so much better. Initially, I felt some mom guilt over attending to myself instead of giving my baby undivided attention. I thought I would be able to do everything during naps, but my baby simply did not nap unless she was strapped to my chest. I allowed myself to do baby wearing workouts and eventually did them while my baby was working out herself in tummy time. It is okay to put your baby down and do something for yourself.
3. Asking for help and prioritizing house work - I have always had a hard time asking for help and I am still working on it. When I had my newborn I tried to do it all. Once I started asking myself “am I the only one who can do this?” I was able to prioritize and feel at ease. For example, I spent a ton of time pumping, no one else could do that, but my husband was able to wash my pumps or tend to the dishes in the sink.
4. Ditching Moms on Call - I hate to call out Moms on Call because I have friends and family who swear by it. There is nothing wrong with following a pre-set schedule if it works for you; however, I killed myself trying to make it work for us. Like I said earlier, my baby did not nap, it was simply not possible to follow an exact schedule when I was pacing around my house at a very specific cadence for 40+ minutes attempting to lull my baby to sleep. Once I accepted that it wasn’t working for us, I was able to follow my baby’s cues and follow a routine vs a set schedule. This is challenging because the world works around making plans at specific times, but it also helped me be flexible with scheduling and understand that we would all be okay if we had to leave the house during nap time.
5. Understanding this is a season, not forever - Wondering if you will ever sleep again, wondering if you baby will ever learn to like the solids you are serving, wondering if they will ever hit the next milestone is all part of being a new mom. Letting yourself believe that nothing is forever is super helpful, and will maybe even help you appreciate the season you are in. Hindsight is 20/20 of course, but I am hoping that the next time I am a new mom I will be able to treasure the newborn snuggles and stages and understand that we will all make it through this sweet little segment of life, and will definitely miss it one day.